I feel sad deep in my bones
in my intestines, my pupils
in my smile, my teeth
I begin to tell you I'm not
sure precisely why
but I pause
because that is a lie
I am heartbroken by the day
forced to watch beautiful brown
and black boys as they are
broken by a booklet and a
scantron
the results of which will determine
their fates and declare their worth.
The gap between my two front
teeth aches with the desire
to affirm these bright but beaten
spirits
"I BELIEVE IN YOU!" I scream
silently
inhibited by the regulations of
proctoring and discouraged by
the protective walls and vaults
they wear around their emotions.
"I yell because I love you,"
I whisper with my stare.
I buckle inwardly as one student
curses out the room, tells me he's
happy to part ways with me, shoves
his classmate and throws a chair
I shed invisible tears
not because of his angry words or
aggressive actions
but because of the sorrow and pain
that lie beneath them
the subtext that tells me he's not
ready to say goodbye.
Today is one of those days
I feel sad deep in my bones
in my intestines, my pupils
in my smile, my teeth
I begin to tell you I'm not
sure precisely why
but I pause
because that is a lie
I am heartbroken by the day
forced to watch beautiful brown
and black boys as they are
broken by a booklet and a
scantron.
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